A Letter to the Writer of A Letter to the Wife of my Boyfriend

Dear Writer of "A Letter to the Wife of my Boyfriend",

Life is all about deciding how to give a narrative to the things that happen to us. Some people think that everything is a sign. Others believe it is all random. You, apparently, like turning your life into a tragic romance. That's fine, I guess.

But it isn't reality.

He didn't stop the affair because he couldn't hurt you any longer. If your feelings were his primary concern he would have left the wife to be with you. Actually, he would have left his wife before being with you because he wouldn't want to place you in the position of having to keep your love a secret.

Men don't cheat because they are madly in love with the other woman. They cheat because they want to feel appreciated. You gave him something his wife couldn't. You turned his drunken kisses on the front stoop into grand romantic gestures. You made him feel like the Byronic Hero of a great tale. You appreciated every little bit of attention he gave you from the flirting over a double date to some unspecified sex act to make him stay longer. Of course he wanted to be with you. His wife didn't treat him falling asleep in her bed as a great triumph. But you did.

But all of that attention and appreciation wasn't enough for him to want to be with you full time. Maybe he realized that you were in it for the adventure. If he did leave his wife for you eventually you'd come to take him for granted the way she does. Maybe he got tired of you. Maybe he decided that the life he had with his wife was more important than the constant affirmation you gave to him.

Whatever his reasons they didn't have anything to do with you.