Seeking a Friend for the End of the World is not the movie it appears from the trailers. It's not a comedy, even though it has some very funny parts. In tone it reminded me of The Invention of Lying, another film that started with a very funny first act based on a high concept and then became a serious philosophical examination in the third act. Lying was a movie that was actually about religion, and even though it was written by an atheist it actually made a good argument that faith in a higher power gave people happiness even if it isn't true. Seeking a Friend is a movie about love, but even more about being alone.
Dying alone is the ultimate fear for most people. Being alone in life is annoying, but the taunt isn't "you're going to spend the weekend alone" it's "you're going to die alone." That when the show is over you will be by yourself with nobody left to mourn and nobody to remember you were ever here. Seeking a Friend gives that fear of dying alone a timetable. The world is ending in 21 days. There is no hope. There is no Bruce Willis to save the day (the movie starts after the action movie heroes who were going to save Earth end up failing- the implication being that as long as that chance of a rescue still existed that people were not ready to deal with the true finality of death). You are going to die, and unless you get into gear, it is going to be alone.
Steve Carell plays Dodge, a guy who has played it safe his entire life. The film starts with his wife leaving him (well, running screaming from him when she hears that the rescue mission has failed on the radio). He wants to love someone and be loved, but he also doesn't really want to put the effort into actually falling in love when they're going to die anyway. He isn't very upset about his wife leaving. He admits he married her because he was afraid of dying alone. He is torn between wanting to have someone to share these last days with and recognizing that the entire thing in pointless.
From there he meets Penny (Kira Knightly doing a good job of being more than just a manic pixie dream girl) and goes in search of his high school sweetheart and reconnects with his past. Look, it's a movie that is pretty good. You should see it. You'll cry for the last 15 minutes of the thing. And then on the drive home.
What I loved about it is Dodge's central dilemma- love takes a lot of time and effort. Is it worth it to go through all that crap when it's going to end anyway? It is an interesting question because it's true even when the world isn't ending. The best possible ending for your love affair is that you both die at the same time. Every other option involves one person leaving the other (either breaking up or dying). When Romeo and Juliet is your happy ending then it shows how fucked up the entire world it. Why even worry about romance when the end is predetermined to be bad?
The reason is because love is great. Being loved is nice, but the greatest joy is in loving someone else. It's going to end. It will probably end badly. The flower is going to die, that doesn't mean it isn't lovely to look at right now.
There's another message in the film. Dodge and Penny have a great love story, but they aren't some perfect couple. If the world didn't end they'd probably just grow apart because they are so different. But they can be the loves of each others lives right now, because they both have decided to just love unconditionally. In this world where internet dating has made finding a mate similar to shopping for shoes. I've been known to read a profile and be thinking the guy is interesting but... The DaVinci Code is your favorite book? Pass.
We all have this idea that if we look long enough and far enough we can find the person who has all the traits we want and who wants all the traits we have. That's a crapshoot. We could also just learn to love people as they are (even if they have terrible taste in books) and be happy with that. Loving someone is as much about our willingness to open our hearts to their flaws as it is about them meeting some checklist of worthiness.
Although, it is much easier to do that when you know that you only have 3 weeks left. It's hard for me to give up on finding a guy who loves old movies and Kurt Vonnegut novels when the end seems so far away. Even though part of me knows that I might be passing on wonderful people in the process.
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